Monday, October 30, 2017

The Lords of Salem (2012)

Director: Rob Zombie

Stars: Sheri Moon Zombie, Meg Foster, Bruce Davison, Patricia Quinn,  Dee Wallace

Heidi Hawthorne host a radio show with two other guys, so one night she gets a gift, a wooden box containing an album, which she thinks it from a band, The Lords.  The next night Francis Matthias, a writer on Salem witch history, is the guest for the night.  After Francis pushes his new book, the album that Heidi received is played.  Francis hears something familiar on the album.  Heidi has a physical negative experience from the album.

Heidi's landlady and her friends have a secret that involves Heidi.  The Lords are coming to town  and Heidi's radio show has the tickets, but Heidi does not know how involved she will be with the show.

Rob Zombie has made his fifth movie that barely made a squeak.  He brought back the late 60's early 70's witch movie.  Witches are a genre that most people have forgotten about, and it is probably because of the Harry Potter movies.

The cast for the movie is the usual lost horror actors and just forgotten actors from the past.  Of course Sheri Moon, Rob's wife, is the lead.  She does a better job in this movie that in the past.  She is not all squeaky and annoying.  She seems high, but her character is an ex meth head.  The lovely Dee Wallace is one of the witches.  I've missed her from horror movies.  Patricia Quinn is another one of the witches.  You know her from playing Magenta in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Even Bruce Davison plays Francis. I'm a fan of his.

I did not hate the movie, but I did not like it either.  It is mostly a visual movie.  The storyline is pretty small, but the movie looks great.  The satanic references, symbols and images were just overwhelming.  It was too much. He could have made the story longer.  One thing to notice is most of the scenes that Heidi was in the colors were black and white.  Even her apartment had overblown black and white images from classic sci-fi movies.  
Heidi's clothing was beyond vintage, but the rest of the movie was modern day, so I never was sure the time period.  It takes it was modern, and her character was just the coolest person ever.

Lots of old and fat full frontal naked women in the movie with some other odd sexual images.  I am just warning you.  The movie is worth watching.

The Lords of Salem (2012) Trailer

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Teeth (2007)

Director: Mitchell Lichtenstein

Stars: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Josh Pais, Hale Appleman

Dawn is a normal high school student who is highly involved in the promise ring club, and I don't mean the band.  She and her friends have made the choice to never have any type of physical contact with a man till marriage. Dawn feels like she has a mutation in her body.  She does live next door to a nuclear power plant.  She has rows of teeth in her vagina, like a shark does.  She is a rare girl who needs to find the one guy to conquer her "teeth".

Tobey has joined the club to get closer to Dawn, so one afternoon he gets too excited with her and she bites off his penis, and he dies.  She now has a weapon to keep cruel mean off of her or they bleed to death.

This was an odd movie.  She goes to the doctor to get checked out, and when he examines her vagina, he takes off the glove and starts fisting her. I was shocked.  Her step-brother wants nothing but to have sex with her.  It is stranger, but watch the movie for yourself.  You will see a few guys getting their dicks bitten off.  Watch out boys.

Teeth (2007) Trailer

Monday, October 16, 2017

Amityville 3-D (1983)

Director: Richard Fleischer

Stars: Tony Roberts, Tess Harper, Robert Joy, Lori Loughlin, Meg Ryan

John and Melanie are investigative reporters meeting an older couple that are renting the notorious house to scam people that are wanting to contact dead relatives.  The next day John is at the house with the owner talking pictures of the work the older couple had in the house.  John ends up buying the house at a great deal since him and his wife are separating.  He tells his wife Nancy, Tess Harper, and his daughter Susan, Lori Loughlin, so Susan goes to the house to pick out her bedroom, and her mother knows the history of the house and does not want her near it.

Susan's friend Lisa, Meg Ryan, stops by to see the haunted house for herself.  The night that John brought the house Melanie comes by to check on him, and she gets scared to death by the house and now will not go inside.  Susan friends decided to make a spirit circle to contact the spirits still living in the house.  Terrible events happen in the house to his friends and family by the demons that are still in the house.  It takes a team of paranormal scientists to convince him that here is something in the house.

This is considered a bad movie, but to hell with that, I love it.  It was in 3-D when it first came to theaters, but not in 3-D on DVD yet.  The 3-D scenes in the movie are few and not scary or frightening by any means, just mainly to show that they did it.  3-D was the new trend that was going on at the time.  There were several horror films that were coming out in 3-D.  The original subtitle for the movies was The Demon.

For a third chapter in a horror series, there are some up and coming actors in this movie.  This is Meg Ryan's second film and Lori Loughlin from Full House is in it.  Tess Harper was getting a name for herself and she did this movie.  The 80's were an interesting time for horror.

Amityville 3-D (1983) Trailer

Friday, October 13, 2017

Amityville II: The Possession (1982)

Director: Damiano Damiani

Stars: James Olson, Burt Young, Rutanya Alda                        

Anthony and Dolores Montelli and their children have just moved into a new house which was built on an Indian burial ground.  The father is an abusive drinker while the mother is a good church going Catholic woman.  They have four children, two boys and two girls.  The father and oldest son fight and argue and the mother and oldest daughter get in between them to stop the fighting.  One night Sonny, the oldest son, hears his parents fighting so he puts a shotgun barrel under his father's chin.  This is when the fun really begins.

Sonny starts hearing a voice speaking to him through his headphones, saying "Why didn't you pull the trigger? Why didn't you shoot that pig?".  One night while Sonny is alone in the house, a demon enters his body and starts to take over his actions.  Several days later, he kills his entire family.  A priest helps his sees that a demon was responsible and not Sonny.

This was the best chapter in the entire Amityville series.  It still scares me to this day.  There are some messed up scenes in this movie.  The two older children have sex and they both want it, and they even talk about their parents sex life.  That is gross.

The two young kids just scream and hold each other a lot.  Boring! The scene where the brushes start painting demonic pictures on the wall is classic, so it makes the younger ones have a good scene.  Of course the father, all stupid and fat, comes in yelling at the kids and whips out a belt to let the beatings begin.  The kids wish that they could write in cursive that well.

The best scenes in the movie are the ones with Sonny.  When he is being possessed by the demon and his stomach is all bruised and gross and sinking in, love it.  When his face is all demonic when he kills his family and then when he is breaking out of the demon.

This is a great horror movie.  It is one to buy, and they need to put it out on blue ray!

Amityville II: The Possession (1982) Trailer

Thursday, October 12, 2017

The Amityville Horror (1979)

Director: Stuart Rosenberg

Stars: James Brolin, Margot Kidder, Rod Steiger, Murray Hamilton

George and Kathy Lutz are recently married and moving into their dream house with her three children.  A beautiful 3 story house on the lake in Long Island with boat house a large shed that George can use for his business.  Even though a family was brutally murdered in the house by their own son, the Lutz still move in the house.

Once the family has moved in, they notice odd occurrences going on in the house.  Kathy turns on the faucet in the kitchen and blood like substances pours out, but the water stats coming through clear, so it's okay.  Her daughter Amy starts talking to an invisible girl named Jody, but that is just normal for a little girl.  One night, the parents leave the kids with a babysitter, Jackie, so they can have a night alone.  While they are gone, the babysitter is locked in Jody's bedroom closet, but the door does not have a lock on it.  One of the boys has a window drop on his hand, but the no broken bones were found.  A priest comes to bless the house and leaves vomiting after he hears a voice saying "GET OUT!".  Kathy even sees something with bright red eyes outside her daughter's window.

It would not take much to get me the hell out of there.  All I would have to hear is that a family was murdered in the house, then I would be like, beautiful house but we got to go.  This movie really scared me as a kid.

It is still questioned if any of this really happened.  It has been said by several that the family made up the story for the money and fame.  There were book and movie deals for the story.  You be the judge.

The movie is great.  It has earned its place in classic horror films.  The remake was completely not needed.  There is not gore not visible ghosts in the movie.  You use your imagination from what you hear.

The Amityville Horror Trailer (1979)

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

HellBent (2004)

Director: Paul Etheredge

Stars: Dylan Fergus, Bryan Kirkwood, Hank Harris, Andrew Levitas

It's Halloween in West Hollywood.  Two guys get decapitated by a serial killer while having sex in a car in the woods.  Eddie works for the police department.  They need him to help put up fliers about the case, and while doing that he meets Jake at a tattoo parlor.  Eddie is instantly interested in a bad boy.

Eddie meets his other friends to go to the Carnival in West Hollywood.  As they are walking to the Carnival through the wooded area where the killings occurred, a man starts to follow them the rest of the night trying to pick each man off one by one.

Here is the break down.

Eddie and Jake are trying to get busy and here comes the killer.  Joey has been crushing on this guy and gets a date with, then here comes the killer.  Chaz is tripping balls on the dance floor and yep the killer.  Tobey makes a big mistake and does drag and he is not getting any play, but the killer comes.

These guys are just trying to get some.  No harm done.  I'm just glad that there was no help I'm caught on something or my stupid ass fell.  They were looking for play.  Do killers just not want people to have a good time?  Do they hate sex?  It's always when you are about to get some or just had it and then you're dead.

For a gay horror movie, this is the best one that I have seen so far.  They are always so terrible and throw in ever gay cliché.  Not this one.  It is just a group of friends living it up on Halloween.  It is not a scary movie.

HellBent (2004) Trailer

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Motel Hell (1980)

Director: Kevin Connor

Stars: Rory Calhoun, Paul Linke, Nancy Parsons,  Nina Axelrod

Farmer Vincent and his sister Ida run a small motel in the country where they also sells their home smoked and cured meats.  They set traps on country back roads to find victims for their farm.  Vincent takes a fancy to one of the victims and decides to save her.  The secret to the farm is that they use people to smoke the meat instead of hogs, but they keep pins of hogs for looks.  The local Sheriff, Bruce, is their other brother, but he doesn't know the family secret.  Bruce meets the girl and likes her as well, so there is a bit of a battle between the two brothers over the girl.

This movie is great.  Nancy Parsons plays Ida, you know Beulah Balbriker from Porky's.  Wolfman Jack is the local television preacher.  This alone makes for good movie watching. Vincent dons his pig head helmet to kill people with a chainsaw.  If I saw a man wears a pig's head and he had a chainsaw,  I would be running , because that man would be really crazy.  The whole idea of a young blond girl looking to marry and wanting to have sex with a man old enough to be her grandfather is too much, but if he was rich then I would completely understand.  The way they handled the victims by burying them in the ground up to their chin like a vegetable.  I love it.  Watch it, or better than that, buy it.

Motel Hell (1980) Trailer
Motel Hell (1980) Full Movie