Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)

Director: Tom Six

Stars: Laurence R. Harvey, Ashlynn Yennie, Maddi Black

Martin is a very simple  middle aged man that that lives in a housing project.  He works in a parking garage at night.  This man sits in this booth watching movies, well The Human Centipede.  He is obsessed with the movie to the point that he creates a scrapbook of the movie, and he is working on the plans to create a human centipede of his own.  He wants a twelve person centipede.  He kidnaps people that are alone or couples going to their cars at night.  He stores the victims in an old warehouse that he rented for the project just to make his fantasy come to life.

The character of Martin is silent through most of the movie.  He looks discussing, and I mean someone that you would want to walk near on the sidewalk.  You would walk away or in the other direction.  He mainly hits each person in the head with a crowbar.  Now it shows blood flowing down the face and head, but it does not kill them.  I would think that being hit in the head like that would either kill you soon or you would bleed to death but whatever.  He has studied the movie so much that he really thinks that he can do the surgery to make each people connect ass to mouth, but he grabs kitchen knives and a staple gun.  You read it right, a staple gun not a needle and thread.

This movie is torture porn to the extreme.  movies do not bother me much at all, but damn, I was holding my mouth during some of the scenes.  Some parts were just hard for me to watch.  It is extremely violent and gory.  The movie is in black and white, which I thought was just a way to save money, but it looks good.  They used a lot of lighting, so the movie does not look dark even though the subject matter is.  You can see the textures in the bodies, faces and clothing.  The movie was filmed well.  I am warning you though. it is a messed up movie. Watch it with a group of friends to see everyone reactions.  That would be fun to see. Enjoy.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Trailer

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)

Director: Tom Six

Stars: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura

In Germany, Dr. Heiter, known for separating conjoined twins, has retired and looking for new medical procedures to creature.  He has an idea to make a human centipede, one digestive track.  He has already experimented on his dogs, so now it's time for humans.  He kidnaps an Asian tourist and two American girls for his work.

Three people sewn together ass to mouth.  Just think of the odd scaring if you ever escaped.  How do you explain that one to you future spouse? My mouth was sewn to a stranger's ass.  I've heard of eating ass but come on there is a limit.  I guess he would not be a stranger for too long, since your mouth is sewn to his butthole.  The first person eats then the next person eats his shit and the last person has to feed off of the shit of the person she is sewn to who has been eating the first person's shit.  That is nasty, and you know you can't close your mouth.  You just have to eat it.  He walks them around like a pet and makes the first one eat from a dog bowl.  He had to get their digestive tract going somehow.

The actor plays the doctor was too monotone for me most of the time.  There were a few scenes where he did raise his voice, but it was just bland.  The really bad part of the movie is that it could have been shorten down to about 45 minutes and you would have had a better effect.  There are several dead scenes in the movie.  I say watch the movie, so that you know that back story to watch the other sequels.

The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Campfire Tales (1997)

Director:  Matt Cooper, Martin Kunert, David Semel

Stars: Jay R. Ferguson, Christine Taylor, Christopher Masterson, 
Ron Livingston, Glenn Quinn, James Marsden, Amy Smart

A group of teenagers are returning from a concert and have an accident.  Stranded in the middle of nowhere, they decided to build a campfire and tell horror stories.  The movie is a tell of four different stories.

The Hook, the beginning of the movie, James Marsden and Amy Smart, are making out in a car near a cliff.  The Honeymoon has a couple traveling to Las Vegas in a RV when some creatures are out in the woods trying to attack them.  Ron Livingston plays the husband.  The Locket has Glen Quinn playing a guy whose motorcycle breaks down, now he is being visited by a ghost.  Those are the main ones.

This movie is forgettable because I forgot about everything that happened the first time I watched it.  I, for some reason, rewatched it.  It's not scary but boring.

Campfire Tales (1997) Trailer

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Sinister (2012)

Director: Scott Derrickson

Stars: Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, James Ransone

Ellison Oswalt is a true crime writer who has had a best seller, but it has been too long, so he is working on a new book.  He has moved his family into the house where a multiple murder happened.  This is the book he is working on.  He does not tell his family about what happened at their new house.

While putting stuff in the attic, Ellison, Ethan Hawke,  finds a box of 8mm film and a projector.  Late one night he decides to watch the movies, but he discovers that each real shows a family and how they were murdered.  An image of a face appears in each movie telling that each of these murdered families were committed by the same person.

There are not too many movies that get to me, but this one did.  There were some really creepy parts in the movie.  The face of the demon or spirit in the movie is so creepy.  If I saw that in my house or in the yard, I would move.  I could never move my family into a house where the family before was hung in the tree outside.  Nope, not this one.  I would watch this movie again.  I really liked it. Enjoy.

Sinister (2012) Trailer

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Grace (2009)

Director: Paul Solet

Stars: Jordan Ladd, Samantha Ferris, Gabrielle Rose

Jordan Ladd is eight months pregnant and has heard some of the worse news of her life.  After her and her husband are in a car accident, Jordan is told that her baby is dead.  She is having to mourn the loss of her husband and unborn baby.  Her midwife, Shelly, is there to help Jordan with the delivery and emotional support.  When the baby is born, Jordan is holding her still born baby, but it starts to move and cry.  Happy and relieved she takes her new baby home, but the baby is unhappy at feeding.  Grace, the baby, is working her nipples too hard where blood is coming out.  The baby lives on blood.  Her husband's mother has been too determined to see her grandchild.

Jordan and her midwife, Shelly, were once lovers.  I knew those girls.  I'm not gay, I married a man to have children....lol! Anyway, this woman has too many scenes of her bloody, crusty, gnawed up nipple.  It's gross with her blood strain nightgown.  The movie is pretty boring with mostly the two women fighting each other.

This movie was not really worth wasting your time on. It was just pretty bad. They just tried too hard to make this scary and gory, but it all just came out as weak. I watched it, so you don't have to.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Exorcismus (2010)

Director: Manuel Carballo

Stars: Sophie Vavasseur, Stephen Billington, Richard Felix

A fifteen year old, Emma, gets mad at her Mom because she will not allow her to attend a concert in London.  Before that her uncle, a priest, was showing her about satanic rituals.  One night Emma comes home late and drunk, so her and her mom get into an argument.  Emma locks herself in the bathroom, cuts her hand and draws a ritual in blood on the bathroom floor.  She starts having seizes and losing her memory.  Her parents contact her uncle to perform an exorcise to help fix her.  Emma believes her is possessed, but her parents do not, so they are hoping this will help her regardless. Her uncle just wants to prove that the devil does exist, and he is willing to put his family at risk.

I was hoping there would be more t this movie, but it was pretty light.  It is barely a horror movie.  It is more of a violent drama than anything.  The movie runs a bit slow and not one scary or even partly scary scene.  It does not even try to be.  Just thinking of the subject alone one would think to see something messed up or traumatic but no, nothing.

Emma spends the evenings in a locked room with her uncle strapped to a chair receiving the exorcism treatment.  She just walks around in a normal state of mind, but people die and are hurt during the day.  I would think that if a person is possessed then it would happen all the time not just at night during "business hours".  The ending of the movie picks up a bit with more action, but it is too little too late.  I would not recommend watching this movie.
Exorcismus (2010) Trailer

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Mama (2013)

Director: Andrés Muschietti

Stars: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, 

Jeffery shoots his two business partners and his wife, then goes home and takes his two daughters away into the woods.  On the snowy roads he loses control of his car and crashes in the woods.  He locates an abandon house for them to hide out in.  Under lots of confusion and sadness, he is going to shoot his kids then himself, but a dark force lives in the house and removes him.

The girls are found five years later with the help of Jeffery's brother, Lucas.  The girls have gone wild without people and raising.  Lucas and his girlfriend receive custody of the girls.    Something else has moved into the house with the girls to help watch over them.  The dark spirit Mama is lurking in the walls to protect her girls.

These girls were so dirty when they were found.  How did they not end up sick or get some disease.  The youngest one is eating moths in the floor.  I would sent her packing after seeing that.  Just saying.  You know something is up after that.

There are a few made you jump scenes in the movie, but the movie itself is not scary at all.  The look of the spirit is incredible.  The way the hair and clothing softly move in the air.  It looks as if is being filmed in slow moving water.  The acting by the little girls was better than I expected.  The movie is very watchable. Enjoy.

Mama (2013) Trailer